A Solution to the West Lothian Question

As the politerati (Sid and Doris Voters) wring their hands over the iniquity of the West Lothian Question, your correspondent is proud to offer his fail-proof solution should the erection result in a well-hung parliament with the balance of power resting with The Tartan Terror.

With today being the 89th birthday of Her Majesty the Queen (Gawd bless 'er guvnor!),  I took to musing, as one does, on the role of Her Maj and the powers she possesses.  Under the statute of Fishes Royal granted to the sovereign in 1324 (in the reign of Edward II) all whales, dolphins and sturgeon caught or landed on the shores of this glorious isle immediately become the property of the Monarch. It takes but a small step to extend this right to include those of her subjects with the names Whale, Dolphin or Sturgeon and so all we have to do is apprehend the Celtic Cracker (sorry, another of those dominatrix visions there!) and have her delivered to the Tower of London to await Brenda's pleasure.

James WHALE

Gratuitous shot of Miami DOLPHINs cheerleader

Will you look at the size of that STURGEON!

By the way, talking of the Queen's birthday, it's interesting that this event merits only a very small link at the bottom of the BBC News website. Perhaps Old Nigel was right in accusing the Corporation of being a bunch of sandal-wearing pinkos. You can add Raving Republicans to your next rant now Nige!

Forget the mainstream media. The Palace can rest assured that the monarchy will survive as long has we have true Brits like Terry Hutt;-

Terry awaits the next royal birth and hopes the Duchess will drop before
he gets returned to care (Tuck your shirt in Terry! Keep your standards up.)