Of Ringo Starr and duffed-up matelots

Good to see old Ringo inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. His citation as "one of the greatest and most creative drummers in musical history" seems to be stretching it a bit though!

There is that famous quote attributed to that arch poseur John Lennon who, when asked if Ringo was the greatest drummer in the world replied "Ringo isn't even the best drummer in The Beatles".

Actually it seems that that quote was really due to comedian Jasper Carrott whose pop claim to fame was to have a great hit with a crap song called Funky Moped because it had a B-side which was a scurrilous take on the Magic Roundabout and which was banned by the Beeb. (For our younger readers, I would explain that records in those days were released as 45 rpm plastic discs with a decent track on the A-side and any old rubbish on the B-side and that the Magic Roundabout was a children's TV feature much loved by university students because of its alleged references to drugs and drug taking.)

The masochists among you can find Funky Moped by clicking here.

If you want to know what got the censor's knickers in a twist back then in 1975, you can find the real A-side by clicking here.

Jasper Carrott before going bald

I was also intrigued by an article in today's Torygraph to the effect that the Royal Navy now spends half our annual defence budget ferrying pregnant matelotesses back to Blighty. A Ministry of Defence spokesman said that the Navy operates a strict "no touching" rule at sea and sources said that most of the women are likely to have conceived before setting sail.

This lead me to muse that if the no touching rule is obeyed, how come most of the women were put up the chute on shore, not all? Is there some phantom impregnation going on here, or has the British Jack Tar developed a method of insemination at a distance?

Honest Captain - it was an immaculate conception!