So what has persuaded me to start blogging again?

Joyous pie-based news!

The Daily Telegraph (hereafter the Torygraph) today published the news that all afficionados of the pie have been waiting for. It seems that being a bit of a porker means that you are less likely to get dementia than that skinny health freak down the road whose pie-denial actually predisposes him or her (so skinny, could be either) to losing their marbles in later life.

Your correspondent has only to decide which regime to adopt; the one pie a day lifestyle which leads to being overweight and having an 18% reduction in probability of senility or, to be on the safe side, the two or more pies per day which should lead to clinical obesity and a 24% less chance of going ga-ga.

Daniel Lambert - the fattest man in Britain
Born 1770, and still completes the Torygraph crossword every morning!

(Reference: 

BMI and risk of dementia in two million people over two decades: a retrospective cohort study 

Dr Nawab Qizilbash, MRCP, John Gregson, PhD, Michelle E Johnson, MSc, Prof Neil Pearce, PhD, Ian Douglas, PhD, 

Kevin Wing, MSc, Prof Stephen J W Evans, MSc, Prof Stuart J Pocock, PhD

Published Online: 09 April 2015)

Vicar banned from wine bar for wearing sandals

It seems that the Rev Andrew Dotchin, 58, has been banned "for health and safety reasons as a glass could fall on his foot and break a toe." Now I have no problems with banning the clergy from the boozer. The last thing you want with a pint (and pie -see above!) is some sky-pilot whingeing on about mortal sin and the cost of cassocks. Come to think of it, a nationwide ban on priests in pubs could prove a vote winner in the erection (about which more later). At least the Methodists have had the decency to ban themselves.

What really got me in this 'Elf and Safety gone mad 'tale was the bar manager's explanation;- "Unfortunately it's because we are a glass-led venue - a lot of venues in Ipswich use glass substitutes now." What on Earth is this language? A glass-led venue? Glass substitutes? It seems that Suffolk has entered a parallel universe and forsaken the traditional pastime of incest for speaking in tongues.

Presumably the bar bans all young ladies not wearing industrial protective footwear, and this is yet another inn which has no room for Jesus.

Those offending sandals in full

Perhaps the last words should go to the vicar;- "I am infamous for only ever wearing sandals because I find socks devilish."

And so farewell then....

Sad news about Richie Benaud. A great cricketer and a brilliant wordsmith as a commentator, I think Tony Abbott's idea of a state funeral is a bit over the top, but then Australia has been a bit short on real heroes since Ned Kelly copped it, and Abbott needs a bit of cheap popularity. I think a fitting memorial to the great man would be for everyone at the Boxing Day test at the MCG to go dressed as Richie.