Bessie - her memory liveth on!

In a startling new twist to the tragic death of Bessie the Wallsend cow, Gobbledegook can exclusively reveal that her short but heroic life has been commemorated in the field of high speed transport, her interest in which led to her tragic demise.

In a top secret move following Bessie's death, her cow pats were removed from her Tyne and Wear abode and airlifted to Reading, Berkshire under cover of dark. Here the dear old cow's poo was distilled to produce a methane propellent that scientists (Sid and Doris Crapfuel) have described as "shit hot". Bessie's bowel movements were then used to propel a Reading Corporation experimental bus at incredible speed around a test track at a hidden location somewhere in the Home Counties.

Reading Buses 'cow poo bus' sets speed record

A nervous looking test driver identified only as 'The Stig'

Chief engineer John Bickerton said his company wanted the "world's first service bus speed record" to bring to light the viability, power and credibility of buses fuelled by cow poo.

"Most importantly we wanted to get the image of bus transport away from being dirty, smelly, and slow. We're modern, fast, at the cutting edge of innovation and full of cow shit.

The crapmobus hurtles around the banked track!

A visibly excited Bickerton exclaimed "It was an impressive sight as it swept by on the track. It sounded like a Vulcan bomber - the aerodynamics aren't designed for going 80mph."

Here we see the majestic poo bus in its Fresian livery, a fitting tribute to Bessie if ever there was one!

Note the brown streaks down the side caused by partially-burned Bessie poo travelling at twice the speed of shite.

(That's more than enough Bessie-based blarney! Stop it - Ed.)