To laugh or to cry?...........

As irrevocable proof that this country has finally gone mental, I offer you this tale from the BBC website;-

Memorial vigil planned for shot Wallsend cow Bessie

Hundreds of people are expected to attend a memorial vigil for a cow which was shot dead by police marksmen.

The cow, nicknamed Bessie, was one of three which escaped from Rising Sun Country Park in North Tyneside on Sunday.

More than 6,000 people have liked a Facebook page put up in her memory.

Dave Turner, who set up the R.I.P. Wallsend Cow Facebook page, said: "It's not every day you get a cow getting shot in a field nearby. I think we need to mark this occasion with a serious send-off for Bessie."

Those attending are asked to wear a cow onesie and bring a candle.

"It wasn't doing anything, it was just eating a bit of grass - it probably got sick of the grass it was eating elsewhere, it heard about a nice new patch, went down and started grazing, and the next thing is police turn up and start firing at it.

"We are going to light candles and say a little prayer for her."

A Northumbria Police spokesman said Bessie was destroyed after becoming "increasingly distressed" and "causing dangerous and severe obstructions" on a major road.

(I swear I haven't made any of that up!)

The late and much loved Bessie
(Her face and identification tag have been obscured to save further
distress amongst the bovine community)

Brian Bonehead, General Secretary of BOLLOX (The British Organisation for the Love and Livelihood of Oxen (and other cow-related species)) said "this is obviously a species-hate crime. It comes to something in the 21st Century when a gentle old animal like Bessie can't take a stroll down the A1 without being murdered by the fascist instruments of this new government. Mark my words, this wouldn't have happened if we had all voted UKIP." Bonehead droned on, "Would Bessie have been mown down in her prime if she had been a gerbil, meerkat or elephant? - I think not"

BOLLOX are now pressing for Bessie's assassin to be arraigned before the courts. 

The killer at the scene

"We are confident that we will be able to identify this trigger-happy cow killer" said Mr. Bonehead, "There are not many coppers in the Northumberland force with such a distinctive blurry face and we believe he has a habit of visiting McDonald's restaurants in the Newcastle area, and may be found purchasing packets of Bisto gravy and Auntie Bessie's (sob, sob) Yorkshire puddings at local emporia."

Cow onesies and other memorabilia may be obtained from the BOLLOX website,

Seriously(ish), this is just another example of the crap which is generated on 'Social Meejah' by idle bloody students who have bugger all to do all day but play with their smartphones whilst waiting to pick up their benefit cheques.

In a further development the owners of 'Rashers' bakery in Wallsend have been arrested for refusing to bake a cake with the logo 'Bessie, murdered by the cow killers' on it. Rashers' owner, Ron Meateater said in a tearful interview outside Newcastle nick, "We are a family of devout carnivores, we love our meat n' two veg, and will not be dictated to by a bunch of wishy-washy do-gooding bovine lovers who are seeking to destroy the traditional eating habits of the North East. Their perverted attitude to livestock runs against all we have fought for in two world wars and innumerable punch-ups with the Vegetarian Society."